I was watching the Colbert Report last night and Stephen gave Firefox 3 the Colbert Bump. Now the stage is truly set for world domination.

A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog for Sale.’

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Beagle sitting there. ‘You talk?’ he asks.

‘Yep,’ the Beagle replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says ‘So, what’s your story?’

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a CUT -glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

WOMAN: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not - don’t you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I’d get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurt look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you live with her in our house?
MAN: Well, probably, it is paid for.
WOMAN: Would you replace my pictures with hers?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What are Politics?’ Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

1. I’m the head of the family, so call me The President.
2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
3. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People.
4. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class.
5. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future.

‘Now, think about that and see if it makes sense.’

I have been playing TeamFortress 2 since just after it came out and I just realized that it’s very easy to take snapshots while in the game. I have started taking pictures of friends and other interesting things I come across in the game. I think this will be updated directly when I add new photos, if not, I may have to make a static page for it and keep it updated there.

It’s a great game; I highly recommend it even if you are not a big gamer, which I am not.

In my opinion, these three web sites are the funniest on the internet… if you know of something better, please feel free to send it my way.

• Ask A Ninja - Questions about ninjas are answered… hilarity ensues.
• Homestar Runner - Funny all around, but StrongBad Emails are the best.
• I Can Has Cheez Burger - Funny photos of cats (mostly) with amusing captions.

These sites are where I turn to when I need a quick humor injection.

Handle every situation like a dog -
If you can’t eat it or hump it -
Piss on it and walk away…

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area". He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.

The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, "So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa?"

Crawford, Texas – A tragic fire this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. The fire began in the presidential bathroom where both of the books were kept. Both of his books have been lost. A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, since he had almost finished coloring the second one.